{"id":2119,"date":"2017-02-14T19:54:13","date_gmt":"2017-02-14T19:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/estatemax.net\/?p=2119"},"modified":"2019-05-29T17:31:45","modified_gmt":"2019-05-29T17:31:45","slug":"sorry-nobody-wants-your-parents-stuff","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/estatemax.net\/?p=2119","title":{"rendered":"Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parent&#8217;s Stuff"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Hey Richard, \u00a0It&#8217;s me, Laurie.\u00a0 I wrote a very similar piece in my blog 6 years ago- The <a href=\"http:\/\/www.MissionTransition.net\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">MissionTransition <\/a>Trans-Act-On Plan. I&#8217;ll repost.<\/p>\n<p>Most clients are reasonable in their expectations but there are those who expect the moon from results. The truth is: it matters little what you paid for something. What matters i what it&#8217;s worth now. And what it&#8217;s worth is what I can get for it! With exceptions of truly rare and collectible items, or valuables.<\/p>\n<p>The world is full of furniture. Personally and professionally, I think it&#8217;s a tragedy that the milennials spend their money buying crap press board and vinyl furniture at box stores, ( yea we all love IKEA&#8217;s great design but the quality is what it is and not designed to last and in the short term will end up in a landfill in a few years.<\/p>\n<p>These are the same people who are &#8220;green&#8221; advocates, want mini houses and no fuss so they should roll that philosophy into their homes. Being environmentally conservative does mean re-use..<\/p>\n<p>Fact is I could sell them a solid wood dining room set for $400. Same goes for every room in their house. Those with smarts and creativity can paint, stain, and re-do the Pennsylvania House solid maple side board from the 1970&#8217;s and revise it&#8217;s purpose into a great looking bar, for instance. Dressers, Dining Room Sets, etc.<\/p>\n<p>Back to the estate and downsizing sale reality: Results are cumulative..all the household stuff, the garage, books, decent clothing, attic, china, crystal, silver, collections, automobiles, lawn equipment, dolls, linens, furniture and smalls. It all comes together to produce a final sales number. That is what matters!<\/p>\n<p>My advice from almost 20 years of managing stuff- When downsizing, remove only personal papers, photos and true trash from the residence. Leave the rest for EstateMAX to manage. We sell, donate and consign the best of what&#8217;s left at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/OtherPeooplesStuff\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Other Peoples Stuff<\/a> after the estate sale.<\/p>\n<hr \/>\n<header class=\"entry-header\">\n<h1 class=\"entry-title\">Sorry, Nobody Wants Your Parent&#8217;s Stuff<\/h1>\n<h2 class=\"entry-dek\">Advice for boomers desperate to unload family heirlooms<\/h2>\n<div class=\"article-date desktop-only\">February 9, 2017<\/div>\n<hr \/>\n<p>Your Parents\u2019 Stuff<\/p>\n<\/header>\n<div class=\"entry-content resizable\">\n<div class=\"writer-block no-featured-image one-writer\">\n<p><span class=\"viewpoints desktop-only\">NEXT AVENUE BLOGGER<\/span><\/p>\n<ul class=\"writer-block-info\">\n<li class=\"writer-block-author one-writer\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"attachment-thumbnail size-thumbnail\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.nextavenue.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2015\/05\/img_staff_richardeisenberg_63x63_0.jpg?resize=63%2C63\" alt=\"Richard Eisenberg\" width=\"63\" height=\"63\" \/>\n<div class=\"writer-block-desc desktop-only\"><span class=\"writer-block-name desktop-only\">By <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nextavenue.org\/writer\/richard-eisenberg\">Richard Eisenberg<\/a><\/span><span class=\"writer-block-title desktop-only\">Money &amp; Work Editor<\/span><\/div>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<\/div>\n<div class=\"main-post-content no-margin-first-paragraph\">\n<p>After my father died at 94 in September, leaving my sister and me to empty his one-bedroom, independent living New Jersey apartment, we learned the hard truth that others in their 50s and 60s need to know: Nobody wants the prized possessions of your parents \u2014 not even you or your kids.<\/p>\n<p>Admittedly, that\u2019s an exaggeration. But it\u2019s not far off, due to changing tastes and homes. I\u2019ll explain why, and what you can do as a result, shortly.<\/p>\n<h3>The Stuff of Nightmares<\/h3>\n<p>So please forgive the morbidity, but if you\u2019re lucky enough to still have one or more parents or stepparents alive, it would be wise to start figuring out what you\u2019ll do with their furniture, china, crystal, flatware, jewelry, artwork and tchotchkes when the mournful time comes. (I wish I had. My sister and I, forced to act quickly to avoid owing an extra months\u2019 rent on dad\u2019s apartment, hired a hauler to cart away nearly everything we didn\u2019t want or wouldn\u2019t be donating, some of which he said he\u2019d give to charity.)<\/p>\n<p>Many boomers and Gen X\u2019ers charged with disposing the family heirlooms, it seems, are unprepared for the reality and unwilling to face it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"pull-quote\">They\u2019re not picking out formal china patterns anymore. I have three sons. They don\u2019t want anything of mine. I totally get it.<\/p>\n<p class=\"pull-quote-attribution\">\u2014 Susan Devaney, The Mavins Group<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s the biggest challenge our members have and it\u2019s getting worse,\u201d says Mary Kay Buysse, executive director of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nasmm.org\/index.cfm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">National Association of Senior Move Managers<\/a> (NASMM).<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAt least a half dozen times a year, families come to me and say: \u2018What do we do with all this stuff?\u2019\u201d says financial adviser Holly Kylen of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.kylenfinancials.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Kylen Financials<\/a> in Lititz, Pa. The answer: lots of luck.<\/p>\n<h3>Heirloom Today, Foregone Tomorrow<\/h3>\n<p>Dining room tables and chairs, end tables and armoires (\u201cbrown\u201d pieces) have become furniture non grata. Antiques are antiquated. \u201cOld mahogany stuff from my great aunt\u2019s house is basically worthless,\u201d \u00a0says \u00a0in, Va.<\/p>\n<p>On PBS\u2019s <em>Antiques Roadshow<\/em>, prices for certain types of period furniture have dropped so much that some episode reruns note current, lower estimated appraisals.<\/p>\n<p>And if you\u2019re thinking your grown children will gladly accept your parents\u2019 items, if only for sentimental reasons, you\u2019re likely in for an unpleasant surprise.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cYoung couples starting out don\u2019t want the same things people used to have,\u201d says Susan Devaney, president of NASMM and owner of <a href=\"http:\/\/www.themavinsgroup.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">The Mavins Group<\/a>, a senior move manager in Westfield, N.J. \u201cThey\u2019re not picking out formal china patterns anymore. I have three sons. They don\u2019t want anything of mine. I totally get it.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>The Ikea Generation<\/h3>\n<p>Buysse agrees. \u201cThis is an Ikea and Target generation. They live minimally, much more so than the boomers. They don\u2019t have the emotional connection to things that earlier generations did,\u201d she notes. \u201cAnd they\u2019re more mobile. So they don\u2019t want a lot of heavy stuff dragging down a move across country for a new opportunity.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And you can pretty much forget about interesting your grown kids in the books that lined their grandparents\u2019 shelves for decades. If you\u2019re lucky, you might find buyers for some books by throwing a garage sale or you could offer to donate them to your public library \u2014 if the books are in good condition.<\/p>\n<p>Most antiques dealers (if you can even find one!) and auction houses have little appetite for your parents\u2019 stuff, either. That\u2019s because their customers generally aren\u2019t interested. Carol Eppel, an antique dealer and director of the <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mnantiquesdealers.com\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">Minnesota Antiques Dealers Association<\/a> in Stillwater, Minn., says her customers are far more intrigued by Fisher Price toy people and Arby\u2019s glasses with cartoon figures than sideboards and credenzas.<\/p>\n<p>Even charities like Salvation Army and Goodwill frequently reject donations of home furnishings, I can sadly say from personal experience.<\/p>\n<h3>Midcentury, Yes; Depression-Era, No<\/h3>\n<p>A few kinds of home furnishings and possessions can still attract interest from buyers and collectors, though. For instance, Midcentury Modern furniture \u2014 think Eames chairs and Knoll tables \u2014 is pretty trendy. And \u201cvery high-end pieces of furniture, good jewelry, good artwork and good Oriental rugs \u2014 I can generally help find a buyer for those,\u201d says Eppel.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe problem most of us have,\u201d Eppel adds, \u201cis our parents bought things that were mass-produced. They don\u2019t hold value and are so out of style. I don\u2019t think you\u2019ll ever find a good place to liquidate them.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Getting Liquid With a Liquidator<\/h3>\n<p>Unless, that is, you find a business like ______________\u00a0which calls itself \u201cthe fastest way to cash in and clean out your estate\u201d in the metropolitan areas of Washington, D.C. and Charlottesville and Richmond, Va. Rather than holding an estate sale, Nova performs a \u201cbuyout\u201d \u2014 someone from the firm shows up, makes an assessment, writes a check and takes everything away (including the trash), generally within two days.<\/p>\n<p>If a client has a spectacular piece of art, Fultz says, his company brokers it through an auction house. Otherwise, Nova takes to its retail shop anything the company thinks it can sell and discounts the price continuously (perhaps down to 75 percent off), as needed. Nova also donates some items.<\/p>\n<p>Another possibility: Hiring a senior move manager (even if the job isn\u2019t exactly a \u201cmove\u201d). In a Next Avenue <a href=\"http:\/\/www.nextavenue.org\/senior-move-manager-can-help-parents-relocate\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">article<\/a> about these pros, Leah Ingram said most NASMM members charge an hourly rate ($40 to $100 an hour isn\u2019t unusual) and a typical move costs between $2,500 and $3,000. Other senior move managers specializing in selling items at estate sales get paid through sales commissions of 35 percent or so.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMost of the people in our business do a free consultation so we can see what services are needed,\u201d says Devaney.<\/p>\n<div><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/like.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fnextavenue&amp;width=400&amp;layout=standard&amp;action=like&amp;size=large&amp;show_faces=true&amp;share=true&amp;height=80&amp;appId=314867381922071\">https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/like.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fnextavenue&amp;width=400&amp;layout=standard&amp;action=like&amp;size=large&amp;show_faces=true&amp;share=true&amp;height=80&amp;appId=314867381922071<\/a><\/div>\n<h3>8 Tips for Home Unfurnishing<\/h3>\n<p>What else can you do to avoid finding yourself forlorn in your late parents\u2019 home, broken up about the breakfront that\u2019s going begging? Some suggestions:<\/p>\n<p><strong>1. Start mobilizing while your parents are around.<\/strong> \u201cEvery single person, if their parents are still alive, needs to go back and collect the stories of their stuff,\u201d says Kylen. \u201cThat will help sell the stuff.\u201d Or it might help you decide to hold onto it. One of Kylen\u2019s clients inherited a set of beautiful gold-trimmed teacups, saucers and plates. Her mother had told her she\u2019d received them as a gift from the DuPonts because she had nursed for the legendary wealthy family. Turns out, the plates were made <em>for<\/em> the DuPonts. The client decided to keep them due to the fantastic story.<\/p>\n<p><strong>2. Give yourself plenty of time to find takers, if you can.<\/strong> \u201cWe tell people: The longer you have to sell something, the more money you\u2019re going to make,\u201d says Fultz. Of course, this could mean cluttering up your basement, attic or living room with tables, lamps and the like until you finally locate interested parties.<\/p>\n<p><strong>3. Do an online search to see whether there\u2019s a market for your parents\u2019 art, furniture, china or crystal.<\/strong> If there is, see if an auction house might be interested in trying to sell things for you on consignment. \u201cIt\u2019s a little bit of a wing and a prayer,\u201d says Buysse.<\/p>\n<p>That\u2019s true. But you might get lucky. I did. My sister and I were pleasantly surprised \u2014 no, <em>flabbergasted<\/em> \u2014 when the auctioneer we hired sold our parents\u2019 enormous, turn-of-the-20<sup>th<\/sup>-century portrait of an unknown woman by an obscure painter to a Florida art dealer for a tidy sum. (We expected to get a dim sum, if anything.) Apparently, the Newcomb-Macklin <em>frame<\/em> was part of the attraction. Go figure. Our parents\u2019 tabletop marble bust went bust at the auction, however, and now sits in my den, owing to the kindness of my wife.<\/p>\n<p><strong>4. Get the jewelry appraised.<\/strong> It\u2019s possible that a necklace, ring or brooch has value and could be sold.<\/p>\n<p><strong>5. Look for a nearby consignment shop that might take some items.<\/strong> Or, perhaps, a liquidation firm.<\/p>\n<p><strong>6. See if someone locally could use what you inherited<\/strong>. \u201cMy dad had some tools that looked interesting. I live in Amish country and a farmer gave me $25 for them,\u201d says Kylen. She also picked out five shelters and gave them a list of all the kitchen items she wound up with. \u201cBy the fifth one, everything was gone. That kind of thing makes your heart feel good,\u201d Kylen says.<\/p>\n<p><strong>7. Download the free <em>Rightsizing and Relocation Guide<\/em> from the National Association of Senior Move Managers.<\/strong> This <a href=\"https:\/\/www.nasmm.org\/education\/guide_to_relocating.cfm\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">helpful booklet <\/a>is on the group\u2019s site.<\/p>\n<p><strong>8. But perhaps the best advice is: Prepare for disappointment.<\/strong> \u201cFor the first time in history of the world, two generations are downsizing simultaneously,\u201d says Buysse, talking about the boomers\u2019 parents (sometimes, the<em> final <\/em>downsizing) and the boomers themselves. \u201cI have a 90-year-old parent who wants to give me stuff or, if she passes away, my siblings and I will have to clean up the house. And my siblings and I are 60 to 70 and <em>we\u2019re<\/em> downsizing.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>This, it seems, is 21<sup>st-<\/sup>century life \u2014 and death. \u201cI don\u2019t think there is a future\u201d for the possessions of our parents\u2019 generation, says Eppel. \u201cIt\u2019s a different world.\u201d<\/p>\n<h2>Next Avenue Editors Also Recommend:<\/h2>\n<ul>\n<li>\n<h2><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nextavenue.org\/decluttering-experiment-part-1\/\">My Great Decluttering Experiment: Part 1<\/a><\/h2>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h2><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nextavenue.org\/slideshow\/10-things-you-should-save-for-your-kids\/\">10 Things You Should Save For Your Kids<\/a><\/h2>\n<\/li>\n<li>\n<h2><a href=\"http:\/\/www.nextavenue.org\/4-boxes-approach-helping-elderly-parents\/\">The \u20184 Boxes Approach to Helping Elderly Parents<\/a><\/h2>\n<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p class=\"copyright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.tpt.org\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener noreferrer\">\u00a9 Twin Cities Public Television &#8211; 2017. All rights reserved.<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Liquidating parent&#8217;s personal property isn&#8217;t 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